“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” – Albert Schweitzer

Success is often thought of as a tangible achievement or outcome, such as earning a high salary, climbing the corporate ladder, or winning a championship. However, the true meaning of success should be personal and unique to each individual. Defining success for oneself means taking the time to reflect on one’s values, goals, and aspirations, and determining what truly matters and brings fulfillment.

Living up to the expectations of others or social conditioning can often lead to feelings of inadequacy or discontent. Society often places certain expectations on us, whether it be to follow a certain career path, achieve certain milestones, or fit into certain stereotypes. When we try to live up to these expectations, we may neglect our own desires and end up on a path that does not align with our true selves.

There is a saying that “there is no losing, only winning or learning.” This means that every experience, whether it is perceived as a success or a failure, can provide valuable lessons and opportunities for growth. When we define success for ourselves, we can shift our focus from external validation to personal development and growth. This allows us to embrace challenges and failures as opportunities to learn and improve, rather than viewing them as failures.

Not taking the time to define success for oneself can have serious implications on one’s overall well-being and happiness. When we are not living according to our own values and goals, we may feel disconnected or unfulfilled. Symptoms of not living one’s life based on their own definition of success can include feelings of anxiety, depression, and a lack of purpose or direction.

Authenticity is a principle that involves being true to oneself and living in alignment with one’s values and beliefs. When we are authentic, we are more likely to feel fulfilled and satisfied with our lives. On the other hand, when we try to be someone we are not, or live according to the expectations of others, we may feel inauthentic and disconnected from ourselves.

In conclusion, defining success for oneself is crucial for leading a fulfilling and authentic life. It allows us to pursue our passions and goals, rather than trying to live up to the expectations of others. By embracing the idea that there is only winning and learning, and not losing, we can approach challenges with a growth mindset and use them as opportunities to learn and improve. By living according to our own definition of success and being authentic, we can achieve a sense of purpose and happiness.

Here is an exercise that can help you define success for yourself:

1. 1. 1. Take some time to reflect on your values, beliefs, and goals. What matters most to you in life? What do you want to accomplish or experience?
      2. Write down your thoughts on a piece of paper or in a journal. Try to be as specific as possible and include both short-term and long-term goals.
      3. Consider your past experiences and accomplishments. What have you achieved that you are proud of? What did you learn from these experiences?
      4. Reflect on your strengths and weaknesses. What are you naturally good at and what do you struggle with? How can you use your strengths to achieve your goals and improve upon your weaknesses?
      5. Based on your values, goals, and experiences, define success for yourself. What does success mean to you? What does it look like? 
      6. Write down your definition of success and refer back to it regularly. Use it as a guide to help you make decisions and pursue your goals. Complete the following prompt. I know I am being successful when… or I know I am being successful by how… 
      7. Don’t be afraid to revisit and revise your definition of success as you grow and change. Remember that success is a personal and subjective concept, and it is okay to redefine it as your priorities and goals evolve.