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Is Your Win/Lose Thinking Slowing You Down?


The following are real lessons and life experiences from the mat. If you are not a fighter try to see where the lesson points you as a metaphor.

I was approached by jujitsu student after class this weekend who ask me a really great question.

He is a purple belt which is kinda the midway point to getting your black belt.

He was sharing with me the fact that he has been introduced to so many techniques and principles on the jujitsu path but he only has access to the same 2 or 3 techniques when sparring.

His question was, how can I utilize more of what I have learned beyond my 2 or 3 go to moves.

What occurred to me as I was listening to him was this.

  • The more pressure you put on yourself to win, the slower and less you will learn.
  • When people put winning ahead of learning their egos will catch up with them.
  • When you slow down the pace, you learn faster.

Understand there are times to fight to win and there are times and ways to train that accelerate your learning.

Instead of being focused on winning and afraid of losing, its helpfully to take the idea of win/lose off the table.

My favorite type of jujitsu training is flow rolling which in my experience is exactly the type of training that is helpful in opening up ones game.

Flow rolling starts out much slower, the focus is not so much on beating your partner but has a much more playful spirit of catch and release.

Flow roll sparring gives you an opportunity to expose your misunderstandings, explore uncertainty, allow room for experimentation all while opening to an infinite set of new possibilities.

In order to flow roll you must communicate and agree on the type of training that you are entering into with your partner.

A willingness to have a conversation with your training partner is often the biggest challenge that hinders this type of training.

If a guy let’s his ego get in the way of asking for what he wants and needs  then he will just default to a train to win mindset and rely on his 2 or 3 moves.

If a guy doesn’t keep his ego in check his future is predictable.

1. He will injure himself or another.
2. He will rely on strength and speed instead of technique and principles.
3. His learning curve will be slow and arduous.
4. He will get discouraged and quit.

Life off the mat is no different.

You are invited to come play with me at my next 3 Day Coaching Immersion where you will have an opportunity to step out of the win/lose paradigm of life and refocus on learning in a fun no pressure environment.

You will leave feeling inspired ready to get back in ring for your best fight ever.

For information and to register please call (760) 930-9604.

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